PR READINESS, HANDLED

The wheel never stops.

Dan reads every pull request, reruns the flaky test, nudges the reviewer who forgot, and keeps one pinned comment saying exactly what's blocking. You keep the merge button.

GET THE SOURCE open source · self-hosted · yours to run
Hamster Dan, winking, in his martial-arts headband
THE PROBLEM

The code is done. The pull request isn't.

01

A flaky test.

Red CI, nothing wrong. Someone has to notice and click rerun.

02

A silent reviewer.

Requested Monday. It's Thursday. Nobody wants to be the one who pings.

03

An unclear status.

Forty comments deep. Is it ready? Scroll and find out.

HOW IT WORKS

One hamster. Every PR.

01 · WATCH

Reads the diff.

Every pull request, the moment it opens. Nothing ships without him reading it first.

02 · FIX

Reruns and patches.

Flaky test? Rerun before you see red. Real failure? He reproduces it first (no repro, no patch), then fixes and validates.

03 · NAG

Chases at day three.

Reviewer gone quiet? After three days Dan mentions them, cheerfully, and offers to find a stand-in. The awkward ping is his job now.

04 · GATE

Names the one blocker.

One pinned comment tracks every gate and the single thing still in the way, then announces the moment it's truly ready. He never merges.

THE DASHBOARD

One comment. Always current.

Dan edits a single readiness dashboard on every PR: every gate, and the one thing still blocking. No scrolling through forty stale bot comments.

Advisory only. He judges; he never merges.

READINESS · #491
head 9f3c2e1 · updated 2m ago
actionsgreen · flaky ×1
agent reviewclear
conversationsresolved
basecurrent
human reviewwaiting
One thing blocking: your review, @kika.
TALK TO DAN

Just talk to him.

No commands, no syntax. Mention @hamster-dan in a comment and say what you want, like you would to a colleague. A small, furry, extremely available colleague.

@hamster-dan what's this waiting on?

One thing: a rollback for the migration. Everything else is green.

@hamster-dan snooze this till Monday.

Snoozed till Monday 9:00. I respect a snooze. I do not forget a snooze.

@hamster-dan hand this review to Ana.

Done. Ana's requested, Kika's off the hook. Anything risky I'll stage and ask you first.

DAN IN ACTION

He teases the PR. Never the person.

Straight from the demo repo. Dan's beef is with broken tests and slow calendars, never with you.

hamster-dan · #482
Rerun passed. That test is flaky, not your code. I've noted it in my little book.
hamster-dan · #491
@kika Day 3. This PR and I have gotten to know each other quite well. Want me to find another reviewer?
hamster-dan · #487
This unwrap panics on an empty list. I checked twice. I always check twice.
hamster-dan · #495
Clean. Ship it. I'll be on my wheel if you need me.